Ugh
by Pleasereadmything
Summary: Kirai(Sakura) is reborn into another world. Sequel to You Stole My Face
1. Choices

Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD/Kami...and Jashin...Why me? Hello bitches, my name is Kirai. If you don't know who I am, throw your f*cking computer out!...Sorry, just in a bad mood. So after my death, I was put on trial to determine my fate. Either A. I go to heaven(HA! As if!) B.I go to hell(I'm pretty sure I saw some of the Akatsuki down there)Or C. I stay in Limbo. The place in between heaven and hell for those that are undetermined and left to stare at the mortal world from up high in the clouds. And I got...B...Ha! I wish! No seriously, I reeeeallllly wanted to go to hell after my first day in Limbo. Basically nothing happens there, the only entertainment I found was seeing Naruto become Sixth Hokage, Sasuke back in the village and attempting to restore his clan(After he got some helpful 'tips' from Kakashi and all the other perverts in town) with his wife, a chunnin in Konoha. Kakashi got out of his depression and decided to marry Gai's long lost younger sister(I laughed my voice off when they were holding the wedding reception and Gai decided to spring a 'youthful' challenge with his new _brother-in-law_. Oh god my sides, they still ache.) All of my ex-friends married off and had the new generation of ninja *Sigh*. Suigetsu somehow lost Kubikiribocho(WHEN THAT BASTARD DIES I'M GONNA MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS FOR ETERNITY!) for the first few weeks he cried in his room, and surprisingly Karin was the one to comfort him. Those two ended up together(Not saying they had a perfect marriage, Karin made sure to make him suffer whenever he made a stupid mistake...Thank god for Karin) had two kids who were now apprentices of their father in swordsmanship. Juugo...well he decided to live in the mountains in a cabin and visited the former members of Taka. He was one with nature...seriously I'm not kidding. Samehada disappeared off the face of the Earth. The other swords that previously belonged to the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the mist also disappeared(Guess how the kage's felt about that) completely wiped off the map. Along with Sasuke's sword, Kusangi also mysteriously went missing. Also, tons of ninja weapon shops were being wiped clean of their stocks(TenTen and her family were guarding their store 24/7 now) naming it the biggest thievery in years. Anyway, back to me being in a bad mood.

I was summoned to the council of gods(Basically it's Kami, Shingami, and Jashin)I stood before them looking up high as they sat in high piers. "What? I want to spend the rest of my eternity sleeping."

Jashin rolled his eyes, he had white hair with a goatee, and wearing red robes, "Just listen to us, we're giving you a final chance."

I raised an eyebrow, "A final chance?"

"Yes, we're giving you life." Shingami answered, he had a long black hair pulled back in a ponytail while wearing blue robes, he also held a nice looking scythe. "However, not in the Elemental Nations.

I raised another eyebrow, "Why not?"

"Because." Kami, the great god that we use his names in almost every sentence, he didn't look like the other handsome gods at his sides. No, he was an old old man. With a long white beard and a bald top, wearing a black robe with white dots that resembled stars, "Since you have already died in that world, you're file from the History of Life is gone forever. Which is why you shall begin a new one in a different dimension." When he saw my bewildered face he sighed, "Yes, you're world is not the only one out there. In fact, there are thousands, millions if I dare say. And you will choose one."

"How do I choose one if I don't even know what they're called?" I asked.

"That's where we help out." Said Jashin, he took out a strange whistle from his pocket and blew it. In a flash of light, there was a wooden table in front of me. On them were the missing weopons from the Five Nations. That's right, Samehada was wriggling against it's restraint's thirsting for chakra, Kubikiribocho just laid there like dead metal, and Kusangi lay sheathed in all it's terrifying glory.

"Choose one, that'll determine the world you go to." Shingami said. The three gods observed me as I walked forward.

I take a look at the swords, my hands hovered over the choices. I mean, I get a second chance at life, the sword I choose is the world I land in. And I really didn't want to end up in a place with singing teddy bears and rainbows with glitter...Ugh. My eyes wandered to a sword as I set my hand down, my choice has been made.

**Your choice, Samehada, Kubikiribocho, or Kusangi. I wont update till I get those answers. **

**~Pleasereadmything**


	2. AAAAGGGGHHHH!

One Piece:  
>"Captain Smoker! We located an unknown object in the sea!" A marine soldier shouted.<p>

A muscular man with light blue/green hair that sat on a wooden chair smoking a cigarrate looked at the soldier with a bored look, "What's the object?"

"A woman!" He shouted.

The man named Smoker raised an eyebrow before sighing and following the marine to the deck. Where Tashigi expected a strange soaked object hanging upside down from the ship's hook.

Tashigi noticed Smoker coming, "Smoker-san! What do you make of this?" She pointed at the woman. The woman had wet dark brown hair that dripped with water, a bamboo hat (that somehow managed to stay on) that covered the upper part of her face. Soft looking pale pink lips, and wearing a very oversized cloak that covered her body, for shoes she had black boots.

Smoker scoffed, "Probably just a corpse."

"Um, actually we already made that conclusion. I was talking about that." She pointed at the woman again. This time Smoker saw a strange needled(And teethed) Sword attached to the woman's back. He didn't know if it was him but he swore he could hear the thing growling. "I've never seen a weapon like that one, but it's fascinating!" Smoker glanced and saw stars in Tashigi's eyes. He groaned, her love of swords would probably kill her one day. Tashigi leaned in closer, but then the sword jumped off the back of the 'dead' lady and bared it's teeth at Tashigi. She quickly stepped back, many other marine's stumbled backward as the sword growled at them. "W-what the-" A baffled Tashigi stuttered as she drew her sword. The sword growled some more before biting on it's master's head.

"Eh?" Smoker raised an eyebrow as he bit down on his cigarette.

A strange blue glow was being transmitted from it's teeth to the bleeding wound. After a couple of seconds, it collapsed on the ground tired. A few seconds passed before the unconscious woman yawned. Causing many others to jump back in surprise.

"UUGGGGHHH! Where am I?" The woman groggily asked, then she noticed the position she was in. The gods dropped her in a different dimension with zero chakra. Good old Samehada refilled her empty chakra reserves with a tiny cup full so that she could stay awake. But not enough to use any teleporting techniques.

"Y-you're alive!" Tashigi pointed.

The woman scowled, "Yes, I can tell. Now someone answer me, where am I?"  
>"You're on my ship." The woman turned to look(Not seeing that's possible with the bamboo hat on her head) at Smoker stepping forward, "Captain Smoker of the Marines."<p>

"Uh, what are ma...ma..."  
>"Marines." Tashigi finished, now somewhat over shock.<p>

"Yeah, that." The female nodded.

"The Marines is basically an army created by the World Government to inforce justice and law." Smoker answered, "Now who are you?"

The woman mocked a salute, "Kirai. No last name. Nuke-nin of the Five Elemental Nations sir!"

Smoker's eyebrow twitched, "What's a 'Nuke-nin'?"

"A criminal." She simply answered.

The marines raised their guns, "A pirate!" Tashigi shouted as she pointed her sword at Kirai's neck.

"What's a pirate?" Kirai asked. Tashigi was about to scoff but then she saw Kirai's face. She was telling the truth.

"A pirate is a law breaking, booze drinking, little piece of-" Tashigi was about to finish but Smoker stopped her.

"Enough." Smoker looked at the hanging woman, "Where are the Five Elemental Nations located?"

"Hmm." Kirai put a finger to her lips in deep thought, "Now that you mention it, I don't know anymore." 'Seeing that I came from another dimension.' Kirai bitterly muttered mentally, but then underneath her bamboo hat she closed her eyes, 'Hmm...My chakra is being refilled slowly. I only need a bit more so that I can use Shunshin. Gotta stall.' "But then again...ah wait, the thought disappeared."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Are you a pirate?" Tashigi asked dangerously.

"Hmm... From the description you gave me, I would say yes. But then again, I have a second chance to do whatever I want. What I want to do now." Kirai swung forward and grabbed the weak Samehada by it's hilt, "Is to explore this world." Placing her free hand together in a seal, she vanished before anyone could make a move.

Kirai's POV:

This sucked. Unfortunately, I miscalculated the amount of chakra to use, and the vast body of water I was in, and crash landed through the roof of some strange water park.

"Arlong! What do you make of this?" I heard before I groaned and opened my eyes. Oh my god...I was at Kisame's family reunion. I was face to face with a blue skinned, weird nose shaped, fishman.

"Hello Kisame's Cousin." I waved before I was dragged by my shoulder in a kneeling position. Two fishmen held me down as Arlong inspected me.

"Hmm. Who are you?" Arlong questioned. I mentally sighed, how many times was going to be asked that question today?  
>"My name is Kirai, no last name, nuke-nin of the Five Elemental Nations. A friend of your cousin, Hoshigaki Kisame." I finished boredly.<p>

Arlong placed a hand on his chin, "Hoshigaki? Hm...Never heard of him."

I tried to shrug but the fishmen held my shoulders down, "Oh, welp. Wasn't expecting you to."

Arlong held up an unconscious Samehada, "This yours?"

I nodded, "Yup."  
>"What is it?" Arlong inspected the sword. If Samehada was awake his hands would've been slashed to ribbons.<p>

"It's a sword." I bit my lip before I could say 'dumbass'. Seeing that they had my only weapon hostage, and that I'm surrounded by a huge army of fishmen, and I'm completely depleted of my chakra, better want to try to get on their nice sides.

"Hmm. Tell me, who's the creator?"

'A fishmen and a sword.' I was going to spout before shaking my head, "I don't know."

"Well then. I'll take it." Arlong grinned evilly.

I was going to open my mouth but then I felt something move in my pocket, I grinned. A plan formed in my mind. "I'm sorry, but," Thank you Tsunade for taking me as your apprentice, I used my inhuman strength(WITHOUT CHAKRA SUCKERS!) to flip the fishmen away from me and reached into my pocket. And out was...a chakra pill. One chakra pill in all it's round glory. Thank the gods! I lifted it up-  
>Gods:<p>

"Are you sure we should've done that?" Jashin asked, "I mean, it's going to ruin all the fun if she's at full power." Kami remained silent but Shingami barked up a laugh. Jashin raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I know that woman! I weighed her soul for Kami's sake!" Kami's eyebrow's slightly twitched, "I know what she's going to do, she's going to-"

Kirai POV:

-and threw it into the hanging Samehada's mouth. Oh god, please work!

Gods:

Shingami continued laughing, "Told ya!"

Kirai's POV:

Arlong smirked, "What was that supposed to do? Kill her!" I turned around and saw the front half of Arlong's crew charge straight at me. I prayed, kami, jashin, shingami, please! My answers were heard from Arlong's surprised yelp. I turned and saw Arlong clutching his newly shredded and bloody hand, Samehada grinned as blood dripped down his mouth.

I did a whistle that'll make dog trainers proud, "Here, Samehada!" Samehada turned and eagerly jumped into my hands, thirsting for some action. Even though I was a user of Kubikiribocho, Samehada had taken a liking to me during my time in Akatsuki. After all, I was the only one that bothered to 'play' with him in my spare time. I placed Samehada on my shoulders, lazily crouching on my feet. "Let's play."

Ten Minutes Later:  
>I may have been a bit rusty after..hm...maybe 40-50 years of being dead?(Suigetsu needed a cane to get around, and might I say he can give a nice whap to the head with only a wooden stick) But I still look young and beautiful...underneath my clothing...and hat. After I killed the first half, the second half came after me. I went easy on them...about half only got away with broken bones and missing limbs. I trudged over to Arlong, who sat on his throne with a bit of...excitement? Before he could get up to attack me, I used some of my restored chakra to shunshin right in front of him. Scaring the daylights out of him, before I gave him time to react, I used a chakra infused punch to break his nose. His throned skidded back along with his body and slammed straight into the wall. He groaned and clutched his nose, apparently surprised that I actually broke it. I hissed and opened my hand, a chip of his nose was stuck in my hand. I ripped it out, and stuffed it in my pocket. A good sourvenair...hehe.<p>

"Listen up," Arlong looked up with hatred in his eyes while his hands were cradling his oddly bent and bloody blue nose, "Be glad I'm leaving you alive. Make sure I never see you again." I released some killing intent to inforce my words. Truth was, if he battled me in the state I was now, he would have a great shot at killing me. And I didn't want to die now...maybe later. I walked away with Samehada trailing at my feet like an obedient dog, occasionally taking a bite out of the dead fishermen. (He was very disappointed when he realized no one in this world had chakra, I discovered that fact when I was hanging upside down from the Marine's hook.) We casually walked out of the place, as soon as we were earshot away. I let loose a rainbow of colorful words that made Samehada shiver(And would've made Hidan proud), I jumped up and down on my feet as I clutched my punching hand. THAT F*CKING HURT BITCHES! NOTE TO SELF: NEVER PUNCH A FISHMAN'S FACE!

A Remade Water Park Later:  
>Arlong growled as his remaining men made the finishing touches on repairing the water park. His fingers tapped his cheeks, his nose was cleaned but covered in bandages and a chip of it was missing. He turned to the fishermen nearest to him, "Where's Nami?" He barked.<p>

The fishermen jumped slightly, "W-we heard she was l-last found with C-Captain Buggy."

Arlong growled again, "She better get here quickly, I have a few questions to ask her."  
>Kirai POV:<br>After screaming in pain for several hours, and maybe even kicking down a few trees, and _maybe _scaring the crap out of Samehada. I was walking through town, trying to find some bandages to wrap up Samehada that now hung on my back. I mean, people will ask if you have a 90 pound sword on your back that has needles that can leap out and kill you. I sighed, this town seemed depressing.

Smoker POV:

A devil fruit, the only explanation. That thought rang through my head as the marine ship made dock at Loguetown. The only way that the woman named Kirai made it out was because of a devil fruit. If not, I would quit smoking, for a day.

"Captain Smoker!" I turned and saw Tashigi.

"What!" I barked in frustration.

"Um...I was hoping to go look around town before the marines assembled." Tashigi inched back slightly.

I groaned, "Fine, but don't be late." She bowed and quickly ran off the ship. I sighed, and spit out the smokes that were in my mouth in the nearest trash can on deck. I needed a new smoke.

Kirai POV:

This better work. I just finished bandaging up Samehada after acquiring some bandages that 'bought'(AKA stole) and was breathing in and out. If this worked, I would be a happy camper. A REALLY happy camper. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at the water at my reflection. And there, were blood red eyes with triangle shaped pupil. I screamed in triumph and excitedly jumped up and down. Samehada shook slightly, grinning at my excitement(I swear that thing was secretly eating my chakra)It works! My Demon Eye's Bloodline worked baby! Hah! Medusa/The Killer Basilisk was back! After celebrating, I quickly shunshin to Kami knows where. I soon found myself behind a building. I shrugged and walked in, I was prepared to fight whoever was in there.(Especially since my chakra recovered and I'm back at Kage-level chakra capacity referring to You Stole My Face) I walk in and, I find myself in a bar. Perfect. I sat down in the nearest stool.

"What'dya like?" Asked the bartender as he dried a newly cleaned glass.

"Just a cup of water, and a name for the town I'm in." I ordered.

He set the cup he was drying down in front of me and got a pitcher of water, "You're in Syrup Village on Gecko Islands. Let me guess, you're a pirate right?"

I grabbed the now full glass, "Nope, just a wanderer looking for a small raft to use." Using shunshin as the only mode of travel was dangerous, it would easily deplete my chakra seeing that the islands were all covered by vast bodies of water. And seeing that I didn't have a map or anything to help me navigate through the world I'm in, I really didn't want to shunshin into a volcano.

"Hmm...You got the money?" He asked interested as he brings out another wet glass from underneath the counter.

I sighed, "Nope."

"Maybe you could ask Madam Kaya for help." He begins drying with the same towel he used before.

"Madam Kaya?"

"Yeah, she's really rich and lives in a mansion. And extrodinarily kind for her own good. In fact, she helped a new crew by giving them a ship. The Going Merry." He finished.

I nodded before draining the cup, I slammed the cup on the counter, "Thanks man!" I run out the door and start looking around for a big mansion.

**As you can see, Ugh is now a Naruto/One Piece crossover. If you don't like it, don't read it. I may consider making a triquel once this is over. **


	3. Author's Note

**I'm sadly gong to be holding off any updates for awhile because...**

**1) My muse is gone**

**2)I want to work on the sequel to "The Beginning of Love" and hope to release it soon.**

**3)Schooooooolllll...**


End file.
